Lately I have been feeling a lot of frustration around the ways that some people within and around the spiritual community engage in various forms of spiritual bypassing.
Spiritual bypassing can be best described as:
A tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasksJohn WELWOOD, buddhist teacher and psychotherapist
In my experience, this is a very apt description. I have witnessed multiple examples of this going on within spiritual groups and with friends and acquaintances.
The sorts of telltale signs that someone might be engaging in this form of spiritual avoidance include:
- Always trying to remain “positive” by avoiding any discussion or expressing difficult emotions that arise as part of the human experience (ie. emotional repression)
- Disinterest, judgement and/or avoidance of the emotional process
- Being overly tolerant of the mistreatment of others, lack of healthy boundaries (ie. co-dependency)
- Giving excessive advise whilst resisting the same in return
- Being overly idealistic instead of realistic
- A sense of spiritual superiority and entitlement
- Attributing negative events to the interference of black magic, dark forces etc.
- Touting fringe conspiracy theories to avoid facing your shadow work
This list is not exhaustive by any means, but these are some of the most common manifestations of spiritual bypassing I have come across on my own path.
There are some sayings within the spiritual community that are repeatedly misused by people who are not actually working through their shadow side. The term, “sending you love and light” is one common example.
In order to get to a place of balance and wholeness within, you need to work through your shadow side and integrate it into your life rather than sweep it under the carpet and deny it’s existence. Nobody who is on a true spiritual path can avoid this, and no amount of love and light is going to bypass this process.
I have to admit that when someone utters this phrase to me, this is the image that springs to mind…
Real spiritualism means confronting, accepting and even embracing those ‘undesirable’ and ‘ugly’ parts of yourself that our society and upbringing has conditioned us to deny and repress.
It means getting really honest with yourself about your fears, deep seated wounds, illusions and the unhealthy/dysfunctional/toxic patterns that play out in your relationships, including your relationship with yourself. It means owning up to self sabotage and embracing opportunities for change and growth rather than staying stuck in fear and resistance.
Let’s face it, the initial stages of a spiritual awakening are intensely raw and extremely painful. It’s nothing short of taking a trip through the gates of hell because everything you have been carrying that has been blocking your heart from true unconditional love and acceptance has to be shed and released which means FEELING IT ALL.
This is just the way we are built as human beings living on planet Earth. We need to feel the emotions in order to release and heal them for good. I can vouch for this because I have been on the Twin Flame ascension journey for the last three and a half years.
The twin flame journey is basically the same as a normal spiritual ascension journey. The only difference is that there is another person involved in the process, someone who is so energetically connected to you on a deep soul level that they trigger your deepest darkest core wounds and fears up to the surface for recognition, healing and release through their challenging behaviour.
If anything, the twin flame ascension journey forces you to awaken at breakneck speed as you are triggered over and over and over in quick succession by either your spiritual counterpart, or by other circumstances/situations/relationships that are divinely orchestrated to ensure that you engage in the cross fit version of spiritual awakening. Not a journey for the fainthearted, that’s for sure.
There is definitely a mandatory requirement for anyone who is serious about their awakening to drop all the bypassing “love and light” BS and embrace a path of genuine ascension. One that involves allowing yourself to feel everything (and I mean really feel it) to the point where you might find yourself lying cheek down on the bathroom floor sobbing in a heaving sweaty mess to release the trapped emotions stored in your muscle memory from your childhood/other life experiences.
Real awakenings are messy, painful and extremely challenging. They are also amazing, joyful, extremely beautiful and everything in between. It’s essential to understand the difference between spiritual bypassing and genuine raw, authentic spiritualism. We need as many people as possible to truly embrace this journey on all levels so we can help uplift the vibration of the entire planet and save humanity in the process.