I’ve noticed that one of the major issues that is still largely misunderstood in Western culture is the distinction between sex and gender.
As a graduate in Gender Studies and a Counsellor who has worked with a wide variety of clients struggling with gender identity, I feel I can speak with some level of understanding and experience around this matter.
Sex is a purely biological distinction, so you can be born as a biological male, female, or intersex. Gender, on the other hand, is largely a cultural construct that actually has very little to do with biological sex.
We have been heavily conditioned (at least here in the West) to believe that certain qualities, traits, and behaviours are intrinsically “male” or “female.” For instance, a lot of people might assume that if you are born a biological male, then you should behave in stereotypically “masculine” ways as part of your gender identity and vice versa if you are born a biological female.
For example, the stereotype that women ‘should’ want to get married and have children is still thrown around whether we are aware of it or not. The image of the ‘barren spinster’ aka single, childless woman over forty surrounded by 101 cats still pervades popular culture and is then reinforced by the masses in gossipy exchanges between friends, family, and partners.
There is also the pervasive stereotype of the hyper-feminine male who exudes stereotypical qualities specifically reserved for women such as kindness, empathy, and nurturance. If a man is seen as possessing too much of these qualities, he is instantly branded as “gay” as if homosexuality somehow equates to possessing feminine strengths and qualities.
These kinds of stereotypes are still pervasive and can be quite degrading and damaging. A lot of people who are born as a biological male or female don’t conform to their designated gender identities.
In spiritual truth, gender identity doesn’t really exist, as it is a classification that keeps us in separation and division. Conversely, the essence of authentic spirituality is that we are all one regardless of race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, or any other dualistic categorisation. It is also more about whether one possesses divine masculine or feminine energy.
Just to be clear, divine is really just a fancy spiritual word for ‘pure’. So when we talk about divine masculine and feminine energy, it really just means masculinity and femininity in its highest and purest form. This is opposite to distorted or wounded masculine and feminine energy which is largely a result of our past wounds, fears, and illusions and often manifest in the form of our shadow. You can read more about this in my previous article Transform the Distorted.
Divine feminine qualities include intuition, communication, nurturance, receptivity, creativity, surrender, and emotional expression are all associated with divine feminine energy. On the other hand, qualities such as protectiveness, groundedness, assertiveness, leadership, and providing (or giving) are more associated with divine masculine energy.
We all have masculine and feminine energies within us regardless of our biological gender. I think this is often where the distinction between sex and gender gets heavily misunderstood.
This is also where the twin flame journey provides a perfect contradiction of this false distinction between sex and gender in our society. There are many twin flame couples where the more masculine twin is a biological female, or the feminine twin is a biological male.
There are also many same-sex twin flame couplings where one twin carries more of the masculine energy regardless of their biological sex, and the other carries more of the feminine energy regardless of their biological sex. In addition to this, there are twin flame couples in which one or both twins are transgendered.
At the end of the day, gender identity, especially on the twin flame path is irrelevant and regarded as a manmade construct. The true work for twin flames lies in healing, strengthening, and balancing their divine masculine and feminine qualities within so that they can become the best, self-actualised version of themselves and step boldly into their mission to be of service to humanity and help uplift the planet in the process.