Many divine feminines on the twin flame path (myself included) have asked themselves, ‘What is so divine about the divine masculine? Why do I still feel so much love for him even though he often acts like such an ass?’
Let’s face it, as a feminine twin flame, you can be subject to some shady s**t from your divine masculine including but not limited to: ghosting, blocking, hot and cold behaviour, cheating, lying, deception, rejection, abandonment, and so on. Many a feminine twin flame has found ‘herself’ scratching her head in utter bewilderment, confusion, or even excruciating pain in the aftermath of receiving this kind of treatment.
Often the default reaction of the feminine in these circumstances is to question herself and wonder what she could have done to warrant this kind of behaviour from her divine counterpart. When she comes up empty, she turns the frustration on ‘him’, and may even find herself in a state of rage toward him for having treated her so poorly.
The truth here is that whilst there is often a LOT of passion and romance in the initial stages of twin flame coupling, the bulk of the journey is not actually about romance at all. This is something the divine feminine in particular often refuses to accept.
What tends to unfold for the majority of twin flames is that they enter what is called the “bubble love phase” after the initial meeting in which both twins feel the intense attraction for one another, and a sense of being at ‘home’ with the other.
This phase usually doesn’t last very long (around one to six months) and is often brutally disrupted by the masculine twin (embodied by a biological male or female) who starts to freak out at the sheer intensity of the connection and begins to pull away.
The feminine twin (embodied by a biological female or male) senses him pulling away which triggers her abandonment and rejection wounds and she becomes aggressive, chasing after him and demanding answers. This causes the masculine to run often resulting in him blocking her on some or all forms of contact.
This is often where the feminine twin enters into her ‘dark night of the soul‘ because the energies between twin flames are so deep and powerful. Thus the masculine becomes the catalyst to kick start the feminine’s awakening.
It’s important to note here that the feminine twin always starts to awaken first, as ‘she’ is the one more connected to her intuition and to spirit, and is, therefore, more equipped to navigate through the darkness and the unknown- even if she may not be consciously aware of it.
One of the biggest issues for the feminine twin to overcome is her attachment to commitment and romance with her masculine as the be-all and end of the entire journey. It’s a paradox- the more she chases after it, demands it, or tries to make it happen via a variety of manipulative tactics, the more it slips from her grasp, and he retreats further and further away from her.
This is also part of the reason why the masculine engages in certain aforementioned challenging behaviors towards her. He can feel her attachment and this repels him energetically often resulting in the ‘push/pull’ dynamic that has become so iconic of the twin flame journey.
Now, I’m certainly not pointing the finger at the feminine and blaming her for the masculine’s poor behaviour. The way a person behaves towards another is a direct reflection of their level of emotional and psychological maturity. There are certainly masculine twins out there who have not reacted to their feminine by blocking, ignoring, or ghosting her, and instead have respectfully asserted healthy boundaries.
However, it seems that the vast majority of masculine twin flames do engage in some form of these challenging behaviours towards their feminine counterpart. This is often where his wounded pride and ego rear their ugly head, resulting in these shadow behaviours.
By far, one of the biggest challenges the masculine twin must overcome is the avoidance of his emotions, including but not limited to the intense love he feels for his feminine. Many masculine twin flames downplay their feelings for their twin (or even outright deny them altogether) and numb the pain and emptiness with alcohol, food, sex, and other vices. This kind of avoidance wreaks havoc in the connection, and in their lives in general.
Many masculine twins also have a tendency to take the feminine twin for granted whilst denying the existence of the connection. In his unawakened state, he doesn’t believe she will ever walk away and therefore doesn’t show much (or any) respect towards her in the physical world. This often brings up her wounds around abandonment and rejection.
It is usually not until the feminine twin walks away (often after reaching her limit with the masculine’s behaviour) that he is thrust into his own ‘dark night of the soul’ and he is forced to deal with the pain her departure brings up in him. It is ultimately the complete loss of the feminine that leads him to reflect on his behaviour and life choices, and ultimately realize what he has lost.
It may be very difficult for the feminine to walk away due to her deep love for her masculine, but it is an essential part of the journey so that both twins can learn to stand independently on their own without each other.
You might think that loving your twin unconditionally is ALWAYS feeling love and saying yes, but unconditional love is also loving someone enough to not put up with their sh*t. It’s being able to see them for who they really are – the good, the bad, and the ugly and inspiring them to live up to the highest expression of themselves.Sarbriye Ayana, The Twin Flame Tribe
From a human perspective, all of this challenging behaviour can be extremely frustrating and painful. Many a feminine twin flame has thrown their hands up in the air in sheer desperation begging the powers that be to sever the connection with their masculine and let them off the twin flame merry go round of horrors. I know I’ve certainly been there! It’s a hot mess of epic proportions and can sometimes feel like some great big cosmic joke.
Despite the immense difficulty and often excruciating pain that the masculine brings to the connection, it is this very behaviour that kicks starts the feminine’s ascension process and ultimately forces her to become the person she is meant to be in this lifetime. She is broken down so that she can rise reborn like a Pheonix from the ashes loving and peaceful with a drive to be of service to humankind.