One of the biggest issues a lot of twin flames face is whether seeking support and/or information (support groups, tarot readings, coaching, healing sessions, etc) keeps them in a state of unhealthy attachment and obsession towards their counterpart.
If you have been on the path for some time, you would most likely be aware that one of the main goals for twins is to detach from any expectation of a romantic outcome. It is no wonder that this becomes very confusing when the bulk of information in internet land appears to be centered around what the masculine twin is or isn’t doing, and when the sacred union will likely occur.
You only have to do a Youtube search for ‘twin flames’ to find a multitude of energy check-ins and tarot readings with titles like, ‘the masculine wants to declare his love,’ or ‘union is around the corner.’ A lot of these kinds of titles are intentionally designed as ‘clickbait’ to get more views, likes, and subscribers. It can also be what myself and others have referred to as ‘romantic spiritual porn’ eg. content that is overly focussed on the romantic aspect of the journey which really serves as a catalyst for both twin’s spiritual awakening (at least in the earlier stages of the journey).
Unfortunately, this kind of romantic spiritual porn is most alluring to vulnerable distressed twins desperately seeking reassurance around when their twin will return and commit to them. Most of us have been in this place at one time or another, myself included, so there is absolutely no judgment in saying this!
I suspect that some of the creators of this kind of content are consciously aware that twins in a state of desperation will do almost anything to feel better, and they are actively exploiting this by creating alluring clickbait and romantic spiritual porn. These are the coaches, readers, and healers to try and avoid as they are largely exploiting this vulnerability in order to gain notoriety and make money. The tricky part is that it’s not always easy for twins to identify these types, especially when in an impulsive, triggered, and/or desperate state.
The other complication is that not all of the content behind the clickbait titles is romantic spiritual porn. Some of it is helpful in terms of providing valuable information and insight around spirituality, and the creators have used clickbait titles to draw people in. I don’t personally see anything wrong with this because, in the end, the intention is to assist people in navigating their journey rather than to exploit their vulnerability for personal gain.
This brings me to what I personally feel is the most important element in regards to seeking help and support on the journey: INTENTION. If you find yourself watching tarot reading after tarot reading in an attempt to try and find out when your twin will come back, or when the journey will finally be over so you can stop doing the work, this will likely lead to an endless spiral of clickbait and romantic spiritual porn bingeing.
This kind of obsessive outcome and reassurance-seeking behavior is largely unhealthy, especially if you get stuck in it for a long period of time. It can cause stagnation of epic proportions and ongoing emotional and psychological distress which, in some cases, can lead to long-term depression or anxiety.
Whilst we are meant to experience these states and the associated pain and discomfort as part of our healing and spiritual growth, we are not supposed to get stuck in them for longer periods of time as this can severely stunt our ascension process and lead to mental unwellness.
At the end of the day, there is no black and white answer as to whether seeking support on the twin flame journey keeps you in a state of attachment. Some twin flame teachers support the notion that engaging with any twin flame material is unhealthy and that twins need to ‘detox’ from it and just focus on their own spiritual journey. While I believe this approach definitely has some merit, I don’t feel it’s a ‘one size fits all’ scenario.
Personally, I have benefitted greatly from some of the twin flame support and guidance I have sought over the years. Undoubtedly there have been times where I fell prey to obsessive reassurance-seeking mostly through watching an inordinate number of tarot readings, but I have now transcended this behavior and if I do choose to watch them I do so from a state of detachment and information-seeking around my own spiritual ascension.
As mentioned above, I would suggest that the most important thing is to be aware of your underlying intention around help-seeking at all times- check in with yourself and try to be as honest as you can. If you find yourself obsessively engaging with any type of twin flame support just make sure that you are consciously aware of it and try as hard as you can to put limits and boundaries around it so you don’t fall too far down the assurance seeking rabbit hole.
If you need to walk away from all twin flame material for a while (or altogether) for the sake of your mental, physical and spiritual health then do so, there is nothing more important than that. Conversely, if you need to reach out and share your feelings with like-minded souls, engage with a trusted twin flame support network like a Facebook or Meetup group.
The beauty (and pain) of the journey is that the more and more layers of attachment you heal and release, the more you can start to detach from your physical twin and the potential outcome. This is where the true transformation lies, and as you progress, your outcome seeking behaviour and need for reassurance will continue to decrease as you continue to transcend in your own spiritual ascension.