In my previous article, The Danger of the Twin Flame Label I spoke of how damaging it can be to mistake an abusive relationship for a twin flame connection. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon in the twin flame community and I feel that this is partly because there is not enough credible information out there that explains the differences.
This article will focus more specifically on the clinical definitions of pathological terms such as ‘narcissist,’ ‘sociopath’ and ‘psychopath’ all of which are legitimate diagnoses but are often used too casually in the twin flame community without a proper understanding of what they actually entail.
There is no doubt that the twin flame journey can be really tough sometimes, and the behaviour of a lot of masculine energy twins, in particular, can sometimes feel narcissistic, self-centred and sociopathic. I would even go so far as to say the behaviour of some twins can cross the border from rude and disrespectful to downright emotionally abusive at times.
My masculine twin has certainly engaged in behaviours such as breadcrumbing, gaslighting, ghosting and psychological projection towards me over the years which I used to take personally at but I have now reached an understanding that how someone treats me is not a reflection of my worth.
Does it mean that he is a narcissist, sociopath or even a psychopath because he has engaged in these behaviours? It’s highly likely that he is not. While these behaviours can be considered emotionally abusive (and they can feel ten times worse in the twin flame dynamic because of the sheer intensity of the connection), they don’t necessarily indicate that the person carrying them out has a diagnosable personality disorder.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is actually fairly rare within the general global population and the same can be said for sociopaths and psychopaths who are disproportionately represented in the criminal justice system (for good reason). With these statistics in mind, it does point to the excessive use of these terms in the twin flame community.
Having said this, I can certainly understand why many a twin flame has thrown their hands up in the air in pain, confusion and frustration as a result of the behaviour of their counterpart and declared them to be a narcissist -I know I definitely have! It certainly can feel like it sometimes especially considering twins trigger each other more than any other person on the face of the planet. However, it’s important to realise that if you are on a genuine twin flame journey, this is highly unlikely to be the case, and labelling them as such only adds to the toxicity, especially on an energetic level.
If you’re not sure whether you’re on a twin flame journey or in a toxic relationship, it’s important to seek support from a trusted counsellor or twin flame coach who has your best interest in mind. My understanding of the main difference is that a twin flame connection usually includes metaphysical elements eg. seeing repeated number patterns (angel numbers), signs and experiencing synchronicities and telepathy with your counterpart in your physical 3D reality and in dream space etc.
If you’re not experiencing these things, and your mental and physical health continues deteriorating as a result of your relationship, I would urge you to seek professional support and try and exit the situation if and when it is safe to do so. Even though it can be highly challenging and even toxic at times, a twin flame relationship generally doesn’t leave you in a permanent state of despair.
This leads me back to the actual clinical definitions of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), sociopathy and psychopathology:
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which people have an inflated opinion of themselves. They also have an intense need for the admiration and attention of others. People with NPD may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the praise or special favors they believe they deserve.
As mentioned above, while some twin flames can display these kinds of behaviours at times it is usually not consistent enough to warrant a diagnosis of NPD. Due to the heightened intensity of a twin flame connection, these kinds of behaviours are also often exaggerated with the counterpart and unlikely to be as intense with anyone else. This contradicts the behaviour of someone with NPD whose narcissistic traits are usually present with anyone they are intimately involved with.
Sociopaths and psychopaths generally present with a level of toxicity and dysfunction that exceeds that of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. While all three are classed as antisocial personality disorders, sociopaths and psychopaths are more likely to engage in criminal activity such as rape, violent behaviour and/or murder. This is why people with these types of diagnoses are disproportionately represented in the criminal justice system as mentioned above.
Another defining characteristic for people with these diagnoses is a complete lack of empathy and disregard for the rights of anyone else but themselves, accompanied by a complete lack of regard for the safety of others or remorse for any wrongdoing Brain scans of this cohort has shown a significant decrease if not a complete lack of activity in the brain where empathy resides.
So as you can see, there is a big difference between a genuine twin flame and someone with a legitimate diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Sociopaths and Psychopaths. That is not to say that you should tolerate any disrespectful or emotionally abusive behaviour from a true twin flame. I always say that self-respect and healthy boundaries always come first no matter who you are interacting with. Just because someone is your twin flame, it doesn’t give them to right to treat you badly or vice versa. In fact, I think one of the major lessons of the journey (especially for the feminine energy twin) is to learn to put herself first.
Genuine twin flames can behave in very hurtful and challenging ways at times but it is always about teaching us lessons and helping us heal past wounds from a higher soul perspective. One of the major signs of a true twin flame connection is the complete personal transformation and metamorphosis that twins experience as a result of the journey. It comes with many twists, turns, and challenges but it is also one of the greatest catalysts for healing, personal growth, and enlightenment.